On the weirdness of Life

Within a couple of weeks, my life has become more adult than I thought it could ever be. Everything seems to change and everyone is becoming more mature and more themselves. Including me.

For example: I got rid of half of my wardrobe. I had my friends sitting on the couch, while emptying my entire closet on the living room floor. Some items went to donation, some directly in my friend’s closet, but, surprisingly, only a small part went back into my own.

I broke up with a whole lot of different things: Stripes, the colour navy, prints in general, dresses and skirts, and clothes that were fitting me in a way that made me look pregnant (like what the hell, past me?). Generally, I deleted anything out of my life that I thought was something, I was supposed to be. And that got me thinking.

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I know it may sound silly, that perching my closet sends me into an existential crisis, but look at it in this way: A very dear human in my life pointed out,(and I feel like I have to be very cautious with how I put this, because he did not mean it in a vicious way) that I am a little uptight. And I am. I have a lot of rules. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I am perceived by other people and how that defines me as a person.

Stripping away all of those things that i thought I needed, according to the outside world, has naturally changed a lot in me. Now, instead of looking at myself in the mirror, thinking: “Is this what a twenty-something year old would wear? Am I dressed for the occasion? Could I be overdressed?” I am looking at my closet and see only things that I genuinely like. It is not like I am repainting myself every morning when I get dressed, but rather cloaking myself in my own personality.

So, now I am working on doing this to the rest of my life, changing from the things that I thought I needed, to the thing I genuinely enjoy. I don’t need patterns or dresses to show who I am. I am a loud human and people will figure that out by themselves, and like it or not. But as long as I am happy, who cares. (A little self-love here!)

Just a little warning for anyone trying this at home: Have friends who understand, and have all the patience because it’s going to slow down your decision making progress by a lot!

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