The token single friend

I have been single for the majority of my adult life. Let me rephrase that: I have been in one serious relationship in my life and that lasted 18 months. That was five years ago.

During the last years, I have seen my sisters and friends go on dates and meet people, hook up and make out, start and end relationships. I haven’t. This has never been a serious issue for me, because I wasn’t really feeling like I wanted to date or see someone for that matter. I was quite content on my own. However, that feeling is gone. It might be, because I turned 25 this year and suddenly feel very old or because, now, for the first time in my life I am surrounded by couples.

Every single one of my friends in my everyday life in Ireland is dating someone. Oh hell, two of my them are going to get married soon. I went to their engagement parties (Not to each other, separately both to their own partners) … So here is the question: Am I now the token single friend?

You know the one in the romance movies, that doesn’t have a life on her own and is completely involved in the main characters dating life. You know, the quirky best friend, that everyone wonders about, why they are single. Am I the comic relief in my friends romantic comedy? Or am I just messing up my own?

To be fair it is quite late, and I am sitting alone in my room that gets colder and colder, while one housemate is upstairs with their partner and the other is probably talking to hers via the internets. I am just sitting here, by myself listening to sad music. Well done me.

My dating life has never been adventurous and I don’t really want that. I don’t want to go on a numerous number of dates with weird people (I am back to the movies… Imagine a slideshow of awful dates accompanied by fun and quirky music). I look at that and I am already exhausted before I even started, just like the last time when I thought about taking part in a marathon.

So, to answer my question, yes I am the single token friend, but is that naturally a bad thing? Am I messing this up? Well, I seem to be overthinking this. Most of my friends have met there partners more by accident then really trying to date. I can’t compare my relationship (or the lack of thereof) with the ones of my friends.

As the token single friend I also enjoy some benefits, like not having to wait for my partner to come home from work to finish the show that we started together, no one steals my snacks and I can starfish in my bed whenever I want to. So in this aspect I am definitely winning this. Sometimes it can get a little bit lonely, I can meet my friends whenever I want to. Because I have all the freedom of my single life!


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