Let’s take stock of my life so far.
Do I have a job? No. I really don’t
Do I have an apartment? No, I actually am living in my younger sisters old bedroom, in which my older sister lived in, before she kicked me out of my bedroom. Now my younger sister sleeps in my old bedroom, and my older sister is back in her old bedroom, that used to be my younger sisters nursery, where she was kicked out, cause my older sister and I couldn’t share a room anymore… But I’ve got my bed back, so thats a plus on my credit.
Do I have somewhat of a dating life? Well, that is even more confusing than the bedroom situation at my parents house.
So by all accounts do I live my best possible life? Ah, hell no!
Am I sad? Yes, absolutely!
Am I happy with where I am in my life? Absolutely not.
But will stop me or hold me back? Yes, absolutely at least for a couple more days, because I have to go to a wedding this weekend. I am 26 years old, single, unemployed and I live with my parents, and I will make my way to France, up on a hill, filled with my super successful family. How can I go there, drink bubbles, dodge questions about my marital status or the job hunt and also figure shit out. I mean please, I am good, but even Wonder Woman has her limits.
So when do I figure this out? Not, after that, cause this bitch gotta go to Ireland, cause another holiday is just around the corner.
I should probably turn this into an incredible, European style, ’Eat, Pray, Love’-esque adventure… Eat in France, Pray in Ireland and love in Usedom (that’s where I am going at the end of the month, cause clearly I need more holiday). I mean, who needs to go to India to pray, if you have 5 days in Ireland, am I right? They have churches there. I know that, I lived there for two years. Okay, now I am kinda pumped. This sounds like fun! I will figure shit out by exactly doing the opposite. I will pack my bags and run away from my problems, focus way too much on them in the darkness of the night and than magically come back with perspective, cultural understanding of new and foreign places and a husband that is way too old for me! Such fun!
P.S.: It’s my last day in France today, and I can happily report that I successfully did my eating part in this country. I had nice bread and croissants with chocolate (My uncle bought all of them from the local bakery, because fuck all french breakfasters, my family is here and we are hungry), I ate muscles and cakes, and more croissants. And it all was washed down, with several beers, intense amounts of wine and uncountable bottles of Champagne. France is really a magical place to be when you are hungry and want to get tipsy.
On the other hand, I think I am having my first realisation of this months of travels: Life isn’t really that hard if you don’t make it that way. It’s fairly easy to say for someone who just got back from a fancy wedding in the south of France, but hear me out: Most things have the possibility to change, but it is in our hand how they change. We can give up and cry about it, or look at the situation and imagine it this way: Now that the child has fallen into the well, lets get it out. I was finishing up Caitlin Moran’s Moranthology this weekend, and in it she wrote:
“you will never, in your life, ever have to deal with anything more than the next minute. […] The minutes always come one at a time, inside hours that come one at a time, inside days that come one at a time – all orderly strung, like pearls on a necklace, suspended in a graceful line. You will never, ever have to deal with more than the next 60 seconds. Do the calm, right thing that needs to be done in that minute. The work, or the breathing, or the smile. You can do that, for just one minute. And if you can do a minute, you can do the next.”
She wrote it as an open letter for young girls with eating disorders, but I found that this is a universal truth. When you see the life not so much as a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey stuff, but rather like a string of pearls (because who of us has unlimited access to time turners or tardises in their lives?) it makes it much easier to deal with it. You don’t have to do the big thing, but rather every small step is important. So here we go, our first life lesson of this month. Well done, us! Next up is Ireland, and praying, so tune in next time, when Frauke realises shit away from home!